Hi Human. You have a body. What a miracle!

In this museletter: on mental health, tea, grounding hacks, #metoo, rage and more…

Oakland/Ohlone Territory, CA, USA | Thursday, June 17th, 2021​
​
​Yaaron, (‘friends’ in Hindi, think pals!)

Five things worth sharing this month are:

1. No feeling is final.

I have been stuck with the museletter. Stuck in the deepest feelings of grief and not knowing how to talk about it - grief and terror from my birth land experiencing unthinkable things. But, truth be told - The only thing I am able to do is pray. I have no profound wisdom, no political nuance to share, even though my skin is brown.

Also, in the mix is grief of losing a relationship that meant the world to me. Also, the feeling of failing my commitment to never miss taking you on this expedition. I failed myself and you. I missed this journey last month. 😞

How am I coping with all these feelings? Rilke is reminding me - No feeling is final. Here is a 2 minute recording of his poem for you.

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2. When in grief, drink tea! ☕☕☕

While reminding myself that ‘no feeling is final,’ helps the pre-cognitive part of my brain, this deep grief makes it hard for my inner animal to believe there is an end. My goddess ninja move i​s to just sit myself down and drink tea with my troubles. In the month of May, I went through 3 packs of QuikTea Masala Chai, and one pack of cardamom flavoured Chai.

In drinking tea with my grief and pain, this is what I have learned - grief IS messy AND alchemical. Its alchemy becomes available when we become available to its messiness. And I cannot take others on this alchemical journey. As Rilke reminds me, “rejoice in your growth, in which you can naturally take no one with you”.

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3. My grief is actually rage. A rage that is teaching me to love my body.

Becoming available to my grief’s messiness, unveiled centuries old rage waiting for my attention and love. Rage from intergenerational and early childhood sexual trauma. This rage got evoked in my body for the first time when I was 2 years old. On my somatic healing journey through this trauma, I took a vow on behalf of all #metoo survivors. My vow is called - to the masculine, with love Kali. And I took this vow naked. This is my act of reclaiming my body's beauty and pristineness. For 33 years of my life, I have held guilt, hate, and shame for having a woman's body, but no more. My body is home to a magnificent, untamed stream of the divine feminine. Reclaiming my body IS reclaiming my power.

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4. Grounding is the single most powerful weapon of the feminine principle. 🌲

This healing expedition taught me something I would have never learnt. I learnt that when the present moment evokes too deep of an emotion, I dissociate - an old coping mechanism from the trauma. I hide my consciousness in my mind as opposed to staying rooted in my body. While this coping strategy was bonkers brilliant back then, it no longer serves me to be present for the alchemical power of current times. I, therefore, needed to upgrade my tools. I have now learnt 30 second free biohacks to ground, stealth mode techniques when around others, and a 15 minute acupressure daily protocol. The nerd in me just could not help make index cards. Presenting my newly upgraded ninja grounding toolkit with 5 hacks for all varieties of stress!

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5. Mental health is body health & vice versa

Understanding my mind and keeping it grounded in my body is my way to wellness. In some ways, it is potent that I missed the month of May - it being mental health awareness month.

Mental health is a hard solitary journey, but I cannot help but share my growth with you here. While I agree with Rilke’s thoughts on growth, I must expand on them: In your growth, you can take no one, but your growth belongs to everyone.​

No matter how you identify, you have the feminine principle within you. We need the feminine principle embodied, resourced and available to lead the world through its current messiness, because transformation awaits us on the other side. I am all in. (Correction, learning to be all in 🤣)

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​Thanks for reading. Stay safe and keep others safe. If you have any questions or comments, feel free to reply back. I love hearing from you all. Tell me, what growth of yours belongs to everyone?

Until my next bleed,

mansi

p.s. I wrote a love letter to all my worries.​

This is the 4th edition of The Fireweed Expedition. Archive.

Musings for renewing the future with play and persistence.

Shout-Outs: Thanks to Christina, Jenny, Renee, Andrea and Lion for being my teachers and holders of space. Brittany for supporting me on this project. Dolly for proofreading and all the love. ​
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